Breaking Away | Decision

I have just decided to break another comfort zone. It is in a planning process. I don’t know if it would change because there many factors along the way until the execution time. But I have just made my decision to do it.

At first, I doubt myself if I would be able to do it and why I do it.

I wondered if I do it because I have gone crazy as an effect of things that happened to me lately.

I wondered if I do it because I want to impress someone.

I wondered if I do it because I try to be ‘someone.’

I wondered if I do it because I want to be as good or as compatible as others.

I wondered if I do it because I hope to create another so-called achievement in order to tell the world that I am as good as others. I’m not failure. I am happy. I am who they want in their organizations / lives / eyes.

Maybe I do it because I want to run away from reality.

Maybe I do it because I am crazy and thoughtless.

Partly, I feel like …all those things are the reasons. It would be a big lie if I resist them. But I know that I had a clear mind when I made this decision.

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I do it because I love myself.

I do it because want to challenge my physical and my mind fitness. I want to fulfil my urge of exploration. I have always been an explorer at heart but I have been suppressing it. I put too many barriers and conditions to my life. I was a fearless girl then things in my past years made me a reluctant person. I want to be my old self again before it’s too late.

I do it because want to OWN MEMORIES. I can’t wait until I have a ‘sweetheart’ to come with me after I was so broken by a surprise breakup. I stop dreaming about romantic trips. If I want to go anywhere in the world that I could afford, I will go. I will not wait until I find the one to go with me because by going somewhere by myself means I OWN the best memory as the FIRST VISIT is always what we tend to remember the most.

For now, my goal for this trip is to complete my challenge and pamper my own desire of travelling in a different way from what I use to. I also hope that some sparkles of myself will be awaken, but that’s another story. Let’s focus on surviving the week long trek first.

Thanks to my friend for letting me join his trip. I hope we make a fun trekking buddy. We have 5 months for preparation. I will make sure he and other trip members won’t have to drag me up and down the hills.

See you Nepal.

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I don’t own copyrights of images used in this post. I have photo credit attached in the back end and these are for motivation in visual only.

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