I am a woman of dream.
Day dreaming, to be exact.
The past couple weeks was frustrating as there were many new projects and even current projects that I have to close. However, being online is never missed out of my life. I also went to an International Education Fair in Bangkok to check out if there would be any opportunity for me to expand my knowledge in the fields of my interest. Of course, I want to do it somewhere overseas.
My idea was going back to Washington DC where I have stayed a year as an exchange student in 2002-2003. There are many good schools there and, to me, all the schools I want to apply are high rank. It is possible but tough. With my career path that has nothing to do with research at all, the chance to get it would be even less. However, I have always been wanting more academic life. I meant, I have always been wanting to have academic life.
The first time I thought about this was before I went back to school 4 years ago for my master. I wanted to get a higher degree and go back to my hometown, teaching in a local university, so that I can have a better chance to be close to my family.
Then after graduation, I wanted more experience in order to have some real things to pass to my future students. I have been in the real experience until now, struggling with frustration and juggling between What to do, What I want to do, and What I am doing.
What to do – My tasks in my current job
What I want to do – My dream job(s), startup project, higher education, specialised professional online course
What I am doing – Trying to get fit and getting myself back together after being so devastated from my surprisedly broken relationship. One of the thing I call ‘mindfulness’ is doing more workout and paving my way to fitness industry. I missed the Personal Training course though. It is so popular that the classes were quickly fully booked!
As you could see from my rant (yes, it is), I have several interests in my mind. I have a mindset of ‘I can do anything and I will try them one or a couple of them at a time.’ I have a FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) because I am a little slower than people at my age. I am 2 years behind because I was not allowed to get in start my kindergarten when I was 4 years old. So I had to wait till next year. Then I took a year in the states as an exchange student. So I came back to my country graduating another year later then my friends. In my perception, people at my age should have at least 8 years work experience while I have only 6 years. So I can’t afford to lose any more minutes in my self development process. If I want to do something (a couple of them) I will do it not one at a time.
It is a bad habit I am working to change, including that kind of mindset either.
Anyway, I used to think that I had been wrong wanting to do many things, having many interesting, not being able to accept that an individual should stick with only on profession or interest for the whole life. I gave me so much pressure, confusion, and many doubts about life.
Decades… Decades that I had been in that box of thoughts until a couple years lately that startup ecosystem and entrepreneurship became a popular trend globally. I was introduced to concept of going for whatever I value and I was encouraged by the idea of being true to myself. I started to adopt these thoughts little by little. I have not changed completely. But knowing that there is a world I could be understood as normal individual is sort of relief. I am still working for my employer to earn my living but I can free my mind realizing that I can be interested in another things and that’s not wrong. Working my way to making a dream come true is a fun side hustle. It keeps me busy. It keeps me going. I leads me to meet new people. It opens my world.
So here it goes this TED Talks about a group people I would love to call ‘The X-Minds’ by Emilie Wapnick . She introduced audience to ‘multipotentialites’ – people who have a range of interests and jobs over one lifetime.
Thank you Emilie for giving me and other millions people another support for who we are.